It has taken me quite a while to continue this story because I have had some new health challenges.
I now have Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy to add to my collection of syndromes. Very briefly, it is a disorder that causes you brain to not turn off the pain signal in an area of your body. It also can have other devastating effects, but the neurologist assures me that my cas is still mild. Nevertheless, the increase in pain has rendered me even less mobile than before, and more fatigued. This is an appropriate time for myself to remember what I learned during my owl experience.
When I recall my owl experience, the picture that comes to mind is not the moment when I see the owl for the first time. Instead, it feels as if I am viewing myself from a distance. I see myself at the top of the hill sitting on my scooter with the man standing next to me. We are both looking in the direction of my destination, as if we are pondering what our next step will be. When looking at myself this way, I am aware that this was a pivotal moment in my life. Something big happened here. It has taken me months to identify just what it was, although I did have some enlightenments along the way.
The first obvious thought that came to mind is that I was not alone. I had a helper. That reminded me that I have another Helper ("Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and I will help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" Isaiah 41:10). Without even realizing it, I was making a choice right then and there. This disease was not going to own me. I would give it no more power. I know I will daily experience the effects of the illness, but it will not steal my faith and joy.
There was another more profound experience at the top of that hill. I felt the touch God's hand and the nearness of Him. I felt His compassion as he helped me to reach my goal. Also at that moment I discovered who I was. I advanced from just having a concept of God's great love for me, to actually experiencing it in my deepest self. I had the certainty of my place in His heart. I knew who I was--His daughter.
