My Story

I believe that the Lord uses every circumstance in our lives for our good.  I would like to share the ways in which I have been able to experience God's love through chronic illness and the challenges it presents.

Twenty three years ago we moved to Warren county from Nutley, a far less rural area.  I was delighted with our new 2 acre property and promptly began spending more time outdoors in the fields.  Little did I know that that activity would cause me to contract Lyme disease.  I soon began feeling the the pain and fatigue associated with the disease, but was diagnosed with fibromyalgia instead.  It wasn't until a couple of years later that I was diagnosed with Lyme, and by that time it had reached a chronic state, difficult to eradicate.  It was kept in check with antibiotics for 2 years. I had believed that the fibromyalgia and Lyme were separate entities and that it was safe to stop the antibiotics.

For many years after that, Tim and I raised our children, Patrick, Michael and Shannon.  I went to nursing school and then worked as a maternity nurse.  During this time, I continued to experience pain and unbelieveable fatigue.  Many times I was reduced to tears over the extreme effort it took to accomplish these things.  But God blessed me with a wonderful family.  My mom and dad were alive then and were always ready to assist.  Tim was and is still very patient with my limitations. I have dear friends that were compassionate and loving.

Then the symptoms became so severe, it became necessary to end the career that I loved and worked so hard to obtain.  I was passionate about my experiences of delivering babies  It had become so physically  painful, and my fatigue was affecting my ability to think clearly so much that I could not do it anymore.

Three years ago my symptoms again took a turn for the worse.  I was not prepared for the degree of disability I would endure.  The fatigue I experienced was extremely debilitating.  On my worst days I could tolerate only about an hour a day off the couch, and that had to be divided into 15 minute periods.  On good days I had about 2 hours.  The thing about this fatigue, though, is that it is dangerous to push beyond my limit even one time.  If I do, I become sicker for days, weeks, or even months.

Even more debilitating, however, is the extreme pain in my feet and neck due to the fact that Lyme disease has invaded my nervous system. The nerves are painful in my whole body, but the feet and neck are the worst.  I have difficulty holding up my head and have migraines up to 3 or 4 times a week.  My feet feel like I have bruises all over them, and when I walk it feels like there are several sharp stones in my shoes.  I can only stand for about 20 seconds, and walk for maybe 30 seconds before the pain is too difficult to endure.  If I let the pain get too high, my brain does not shut off the pain signal when I finally sit.  It may linger for months or become permanent.  For this reason I can only go places where I will be sitting.  This means rarely do I go to stores or to places where getting from the car to the destination requires more than 30 seconds of walking. 

My reason for including this history is to give a better picture of the backdrop with which the Lord blessed me with a new awareness of His goodness and grace.  I will continue with more details in laer blogs.