My Story part II

With the new exacerbation of symptoms, it became apparent to me that my life was going to change significantly.  This awareness triggered a time of depression and despair over my situation.  Nothing seemed to make sense.  Why would God want me to have a condition that prevented me from doing the very things He desires us to do?  I could not make it to church most Sundays.  I was too sick by the end of each day to participate in bible studies.  I was too weak to offer hospitality.  I had to stop teaching Sunday school.  I used to like to help others by babysitting, making a meal, etc, but now could barely care for my own family (I am very grateful that I have a very understanding family). I was not able to even keep in touch with friends by phone since my facial nerves arre so sensitive that the sound of a voice over the phone (even on speaker) is painful and triggers migraines.

I had an interesting response to these facts.  I became very disappointed in myself.  I actually felt shame that I could not push beyond these symptoms and do the activities that I felt defined a good and valuable person.  I realized that by myself I could not continue this way.  I reached out to God in desperation.  He responded by reaching back.  That day I began to heal, although not physically.  There were many more important issues at hand.  I will continue in my blog entries to report the many revelations that followed, and the amazing way that I am being healed.